What Else Can I Do Now?
by RockSunner
Summary: Sequel to What Else Can I Do?, an AU. Olaf pulled the trigger. What happens now?
1. Harpoon

This is a sequel to 'What Else Can I Do?', an AU in which Olaf pulled the harpoon-gun trigger. All characters belong to Daniel Handler, not me.

**What Else Can I Do Now?**

"_Ten_!"

Olaf pulled the trigger. Klaus and Sunny were not directly in line with the shot, so the force of the harpoon only knocked them to the floor. Violet had no chance; the harpoon pierced her heart.

Sunny screamed. Klaus cried out "NO!" They held their sister, but there was nothing they could do.

Violet frowned with effort as she tried to say a last word, "Quigley!"

Count Olaf looked shaken by what he had done, but he pulled himself together and aimed at Dewey Denouement.

"I have one more harpoon. The phrases, now!" he demanded.

Dewey turned white, and recited, "'ALLERGIC TO PEPPERMINTS'; 'POISON DARTS'; 'WHO KNOWS WHEN SOME SLIGHT SHOCK, DISTURBING THE DELICATE BALANCE BETWEEN SOCIAL ORDER AND THIRSTY ASPIRATION, SHALL SEND THE SKYSCRAPERS IN OUR CITIES TOPPLING?'"

Olaf mumbled to himself, trying to commit the words to memory. In the background, Sunny continued to scream. The sound roused the hotel.

"What's going on?"

"It sounds like they're murdering people down in the lobby!"

"I can't sleep with murderers on the loose!"

"The readers of _The Daily Punctilio_ have a right to know!" said the voice of Geraldine Julienne.

People in pajamas began to flood into the room from the stairs and elevators. Count Olaf hastily set down the harpoon gun on the floor next to the Baudelaires.

"Count Olaf killed my sister!" Klaus shouted. "Grab him!"

"Murder!" shouted Sunny.

"We should call the authorities!" said one guest.

"We should call the manager!" said another.

"We should call my mother!"

"We should call for a concierge!"

"Those _are_ the concierges!"

"No, those are the murderous Baudelaire orphans!" said Geraldine Julienne. "I can see the headlines now: 'MURDEROUS ORPHANS MURDER MURDEROUS ORPHAN!'"

"That's right," said Count Olaf. "They shot their sister!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what happened. They shot her," said Hugo.

"Liar!" yelled Sunny in a tearful voice.

"Count Olaf did it!" cried Klaus.

"They killed Count Olaf, too, right in my home town," said Mrs. Morrow.

"That was Count Omar," said Mr. Lesko.

"They're not criminals," said Hal. "I should know."

"So should I. They're guilty as sin," said Esme. "Look at the blood on them."

The children looked down at themselves. Their orange uniforms were indeed blotched with red.

"Ladies and gentlemen," called Justice Strauss. "Guilt or innocence is a matter for the law, not your personal opinions."

"That's not fair," said one man. "I went to all the trouble of coming down here in my pajamas and I should be able to say whether they are guilty or not."

"This is a case for the High Court," said Justice Strauss. "The authorities will be notified and my fellow judges will be here for a trial in a matter of hours."

"Isn't the trial on Thursday?" someone asked.

"In the light of this murder and the bank robber who was caught yesterday, we will be starting early," said Justice Strauss. "These and many other important matters will be decided once and for all."

"I guess that's all right," someone grumbled.

Justice Strauss and Jerome Squalor walked through the crowd to the Baudelaires.

"Don't worry," said Justice Strauss. "My fellow justices and I will straighten this out."

"Will you?" said Klaus in a cold rage. "Violet is dead. You let her walk in front of a harpoon and did nothing."

"I'm so sorry," said Jerome.

"So am I," said the Justice.

"Failed us. Again," said Sunny miserably.

"I'm going to have the managers lock you in Room 121 until the trial, just to keep you safe from the mob," said Justice Strauss.

"Ha!" said Olaf, pushing his way toward them. "Good idea. Lock them up so decent people will be safe."

"You will be locked up too, Count Olaf," said Justice Strauss. "Along with many other crimes, you are also accused of this murder, and there are multiple witnesses."

"I welcome the verdict of the High Court," said Olaf. "Ha!"

Frank or Ernest or Dewey escorted the Baudelaires to room 121 and locked them in. Sunny and Klaus held each other and wept bitterly.

Out in the night a taxi driver got tired of waiting and slowly drove away. 


	2. Closet

** Chapter 2**

The expression, "if it's the last thing I do," means that a person has an extreme determination to do something. In highly dangerous predicaments, such as the ones the Baudelaires found themselves in, it can become literal. Violet had determined to stop Olaf from harpooning Dewey Denouement if it was the last thing she did...

"I'm going to make Olaf pay if it's the last thing I do," Klaus said, clenching his jaw.

"Not you too," said Sunny anxiously.

"I don't mean it literally, Sunny," Klaus reassured her. "I mean we have to use our wits to figure out Olaf's plans and do our best to thwart them."

"Trial?" asked Sunny.

"I'm not counting on the trial," said Klaus. "The other justices are probably just as useless as Strauss. Olaf didn't seem worried."

"Laughed," Sunny said.

"We have to think about everything we heard as flaneurs today and set our minds on defeating Olaf. It's what Violet would want us to do," said Klaus.

"Cocktail. Valuables," said Sunny, thinking of the two teachers and the Vice Principal discussing their party invitations.

"Yes, Olaf's planning robbery at his cocktail party but it sounded like he's going to hold it in the lobby. He can't until after the trial. I'm thinking of things we might do before that."

"Sugar bowl," said Sunny.

"Yes. Olaf has the phrases now. That despicable coward Dewey! If he was going to cave in, why didn't he do it before Violet was shot?"

"Failed us too," said Sunny, blinking back tears.

"If we manage to get away during the trial, I'll try to get to the Vernacularly Fastened Door and type in the wrong phrases to jam the lock," said Klaus. "That's Plan A."

"Plan A?" asked Sunny.

"It's our private code," said Klaus, "When I say 'Plan A' then you'll know I'm going for the laundry room door."

"With," said Sunny, meaning "I want to go with you, Klaus."

"We may need to split up," said Klaus. "There's still one more thing; we have to find the Medusoid Mycelium and get rid of it before Olaf can use it."

"Where?" asked Sunny.

"I don't know. We have to think," said Klaus.

"Room?" said Sunny.

"It would be too risky to have it in his room," Klaus said. "What if spores got loose while he was asleep?"

"Esmé. Guarding," said Sunny.

"You're right, Sunny. Esmé said she was guarding something," Klaus said. "But Olaf said she was up in the tanning salon all day... The mushrooms are probably up there somewhere."

Klaus got out his commonplace book and held it close to the crack at the bottom of the door where light was coming in. He read through all the notes he had taken about what Violet had observed on the roof.

"The boat Carmelita was riding had a figurehead of a diver being attacked by an octopus... That's it! The safest way to handle the fungus would be to keep it trapped inside the diving helmet until he was ready to use it."

"Eureka," said Sunny, which meant, "We've solved the mushroom mystery."

"That will be our Plan B," said Klaus. "One of us needs to get to the roof and throw the helmet into the sea before Olaf can use it."

"Unsafe," said Sunny nervously.

"It's a risk we have to take," said Klaus. "It will save lives. Better yet, it will foil Olaf. That's what I want more than anything, to avenge Violet. What else can I do now?"

"Last thing I do," said Sunny in agreement.

"That's about all the plans I can think of," said Klaus. "We should try to get some sleep if we can."

"Can't" said Sunny.

"Neither can I," said Klaus. "I was hoping you could."

Both sat leaning against each other, overwhelmed by grief. It took hours before they dropped into exhausted slumber. 


	3. Trial

**Chapter 3**

The children were woken by a sharp knock at the door, and Ernest (or Frank or Dewey) came in.

"I brought you some tea to fortify you for the trial," said the manager. "Sorry there's no sugar."

"Thank you," said Klaus. He might have added that tea should be as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a two-edged sword, but he was in no mood for coded banter with the unfathomable hotel manager.

"And here are your blindfolds," said Frank (or maybe Dewey or Ernest).

"Blindfolds?" asked Sunny.

"Everyone except the judges must wear blindfolds at a High Court trial," the manager said. "I'm sure you've heard the saying 'Justice is blind'."

"I thought that meant the law was impartial," said Klaus.

"The High Court ruled it must be taken literally," said Dewey (or Frank, or Ernest).

"Scalia," said Sunny, which meant "The literal interpretation makes no sense."

Klaus sighed. This was going to make his plans much more difficult. He wound the blindfold over his glasses in such a way that he could get a very blurry peek out of the corner of his eye. Sunny had no glasses, so she had to blindfold herself completely.

There is a saying that "If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a ditch." Fortunately there were no ditches in the room, but people did plenty of falling over each other. Somehow Klaus and Sunny managed to make their way through the blindfolded crowd and sit on the bench where Justice Strauss directed them.

A moment later, someone nearly sat on them. "Pardon me, we're sitting here," said Klaus.

"_Pardon me, we're sitting here_," came the high-pitched mocking reply.

"Vice Principal Nero? What are you doing here?" asked Klaus.

"_What are you doing here?_" said the odious man. "I am falsely accused of bank robbery. The High Court tries as many cases as they can at once to save time. But what a disgrace that I, a musical genius, should be placed alongside orphans."

"I feel likewise," said a familiar raspy voice from the far end of the bench. Count Olaf!

"Order in the court," called Justice Strauss. "The trial is about to begin. Take your seats, but no peeking, or you'll be guilty of contempt of court."

The rest of the crowd jostled their way to their seats.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and anyone else who happens to be here," said Justice Strauss. "It has come to the attention of the High Court that a great deal of wickedness has been going on. We were going to hold a trial on Thursday, but because of the terrible murder of Violet Baudelaire we are proceeding at once. We will determine who are the guilty parties and turn them over to the authorities, who are guarding the doors outside so that no-one will escape."

"Speaking of guilty parties, I will be hosting a cocktail party when the trial is over," said Count Olaf. "Wealthy women are welcome."

"I'm hosting it," snarled Esmé Squalor. "And..."

"And I will be performing a violin recital at the party," said Vice Principal Nero, cutting off Esmé. "Music critics are especially welcome."

"Order in the court," demanded Justice Strauss, banging her gavel. "We are here for social justice, not socializing. Now, will the accused parties please stand up and state your name and occupation? We'll start with you, Count Olaf. Name?"

"Count Olaf."

"Occupation?"

"Impresario."

"Are you innocent or guilty?"

"Unspeakably innocent." Murmurs spread through the crowd.

"You may be seated. Vice Principal Nero, you are next. Name?"

"Caesar Nero."

"Occupation?"

"Violinist."

"Aren't you the vice-principal of a boarding school?"

"Only until my genius is recognized, as it will be at the cocktail party today."

"The record will show your current occupation," said Justice Strauss sternly. "Are you guilty or innocent?"

"I am beyond innocent," said Nero. Another murmur rippled through the crowd.

"Now for the Baudelaires. Please state your names."

"Klaus Baudelaire."

"Sunny Baudelaire."

"Occupations?"

"Nemesis," said Klaus, using a word which here means "a person dedicated to bringing justice to an evil enemy."

Count Olaf gave a little "Ha!" at hearing this.

"Child," said Sunny.

"I object," said Count Olaf. "Their proper occupation is orphan, or inheritor of an enormous fortune."

"Your objection is noted," said Strauss. "Now children, are you guilty or innocent?"

"Innocent!" Klaus declared loudly. He was in no mood for subtle moral distinctions when he had been sitting on the same bench as the man who had murdered his sister.

"I can see the headlines now," said Geraldine Julienne, "'EVERYONE IS INNOCENT!'. Wait till the readers of _The Daily Punctillio_ see that!"

"Everyone is guilty until proven innocent," said Justice Strauss, banging her gavel. "Now, will all who have evidence to submit approach the bench?"

There was a terrible clamor as everyone tried to approach the bench at once. Everything from commonplace books, carnival posters, ruby-encrusted blank pages, photographs, magazine articles, cookies, and somebody's mother were submitted.

"I submit these financial records," said Mr. Poe. "And this loot we recovered from the bank robber." He had left the hotel last night before the trouble started but now he was back to testify.

"I submit this comprehensive book on injustice!" said Jerome Squalor, to applause and hisses from the crowd.

"Before we review this evidence," said Justice Strauss, "The High Court will ask each of the accused to make a statement. Take as long as you want, and leave nothing out. Count Olaf."

"Ladies and gentlemen." said Count Olaf. "I am totally, preposterously innocent, I-N-A-S-E-N-T."

"That's not how you spell 'innocent'," said Justice Strauss.

"Spelling doesn't count," said Olaf. "And that's all I have to say."

Klaus smiled to himself. Olaf couldn't spell; that was useful to know...

"Vice-Principal Nero? You are next," Strauss said.

The Vice-Principal began a long, rambling speech about being a misunderstood musical genius. Justice Strauss seemed to be listening attentively, saying "hmmm" once or twice in a way that might have been a safe answer or showing sympathy.

Klaus watched from the corner of his eye the blurry place where he knew Count Olaf was sitting. Suddenly the blur moved, and Klaus realized that Olaf had left the bench. Just then, Justice Strauss uttered another very strange 'hmmm' that reminded Sunny of the time she had been locked in a cage by Olaf, with her mouth taped shut.

Without saying a word, the orphans both knew they had to peek, contempt of court or not. It was a shocking peek they got when they pulled off their blindfolds.

Count Olaf was carrying Justice Strauss under the crook of one arm. With one hand he held a piece of duct tape over her mouth, and with the other he was pressing the elevator button. Leaning against the wall nearby was the harpoon gun.

Even worse, when they looked back at the concierge table piled with evidence, they saw that the two remaining justices were none other than the man with a beard and no hair and the woman with hair and no beard, the worst villains they had ever been unfortunate enough to meet.

"The Baudelaires have taken off their blindfolds!" shouted the woman with hair and no beard in her deep, deep voice.

"They are guilty of contempt of court!" said the man with a beard and no hair, in his hoarse voice that sounded as if he had been screaming.

"This court is contemptible," said Klaus. "Two of the justices are notorious villains, and they are letting Count Olaf kidnap the third!"

"Hmmm!" agreed Justice Strauss.

"The Baudelaires are lying," said the woman with hair and no beard. "Justice Strauss is just enjoying a piece of toffee."

"Volunteers, take off your blindfolds!" Klaus cried.

"Peek!" said Sunny.

"No, they are tricking you into contempt of court!" said the man with a beard and no hair.

There was a hubbub (a word which here means "a lot of confused blindfolded people arguing").

"Sunny, you do Plan B and I'll do Plan A," Klaus whispered, using the private code they had agreed on which meant, "I'll go to the laundry room to stop Olaf getting the sugar bowl while you go up to the roof and get rid of the Medusoid Mycelium helmet."

"Preludio," Sunny whispered back, using a private code based on their past experience which meant, "If Olaf heads up to the roof in the elevator, delay him by pressing all the buttons."

With that, the two Baudelaires set off quickly and stealthfully for the elevators, dodging all the blindfolded people who tried to stop them.


	4. Door

**Chapter 4**

"Capture the Baudelaires!" shouted the man with a beard and no hair. "They're heading to the elevators."

"Search the entire hotel and capture anyone suspicious," added the woman with hair and no beard. "We'll tell you if they are villains or not. You can't decide such things for yourself."

"_Wrong_!" said the enormous clock, striking the hour.

Klaus stuck his foot in the door of the Olaf's elevator.

"Let me go," said Olaf, "Or I'll tell everyone where you are."

"Let me in," Klaus said, "Or I'll tell everyone where _you_ are."

Olaf moved aside and let him in. "What happened to your little sister?"

"She was right behind me a moment ago. Someone must have grabbed her," lied Klaus (actually Sunny had pushed the up button of another elevator and gotten in).

"Still want to get in?" asked Olaf.

"I'm going where you're going," said Klaus.

"I have errands to run," said Olaf. "First, I'll go down to the laundry room and get the sugar bowl. Ha! Then I'll go up to the roof and get the Medusiod Mycelium. Ha! Then I'll go down to the lobby and poison everyone with the fungus. Ha! Finally, I'll go up to the roof and escape."

"Not if I can stop you," said Klaus.

"Ha!" laughed Olaf. "How could you, a mere child, expect to stop an intelligent adult like myself? Ha! Nemesis indeed. Ha!"

"Hmmm!" said Justice Strauss.

Klaus tried to get to the laundry room door ahead of Olaf, but the villain was alert enough to block his way.

"I know all the phrases for the Vernacularly Fastened Door," said Olaf. "The first was 'allergic to peppermints'. A-L-E-R-J-I-C-K...".

Klaus said nothing. This was exactly what he had hoped. Olaf began to type, but with the first wrong letter the Vernacularly Fastened Door gave a loud buzz and the keyboard stopped responding.

"That cursed Dewey gave me the wrong phrases!" Olaf exclaimed.

"He didn't," said Klaus. "That was the correct medical condition. You just spelled 'allergic' wrong."

"Spelling doesn't count," said Olaf. "And if it does, why didn't you say something before, you walking dictionary?"

"How could I, a mere child, expect to correct the spelling of an intelligent adult?" said Klaus with a mocking gleam in his eye.

"I'm getting a second opinion from my hostage," said Olaf. He ripped the tape off of Justice Strauss' mouth slowly, to increase her suffering.

"You've lost," said Justice Strauss. "Dewey told me about this kind of lock. If you type in the wrong thing it jams and it won't reset for 24 hours."

"I haven't lost yet," hissed Olaf. "I'll expose everyone in the hotel to the Medusoid Mycelium, and the authorities too, when they come in to investigate. Ha! That will buy me the time to force someone to give me the right spellings."

They entered the elevator and Olaf pressed the button for the roof. Klaus tried to use the Preludio trick, but he only managed to press the first three buttons before Olaf caught on and shoved him roughly away from the controls.

The elevator door opened on the lobby. "Everyone get out of the hotel!" Klaus shouted. "Count Olaf is going to expose you all to poisonous fungi!"

"That's just another lie by the Baudelaires to panic you," Olaf called. "Stay where you are."

"Fungi?" said the man with a beard but no hair. "We expected you might pull a trick like that, Olaf. That's why we provided ourselves with the means to dilute it." He produced a small bottle of horseradish from his pocket.

"What are you saying to Olaf?" asked the blindfolded and confused Jerome Squalor.

"I meant, there's Olaf, in the elevator -- go capture him," said the man with a beard but no hair.

The doors shut and the elevator went up another floor.

"I knew they might turn on me," said Olaf, ignoring the fact that he had turned on the judges first. "All my associates have failed me."

On the second floor they saw Esmé and Carmelita Spats, still blindfolded. Klaus called out a warning and Olaf called out reassurances again, but the ex-girlfriend had trouble believing either one. On the third floor they encountered Mr. Poe, but he refused to leave until the case against the bank robber was over.

From there the elevator headed straight to the roof. Klaus could only hope that he had bought Sunny enough time to get rid of the deadly mushrooms. And he could only worry about what Olaf would do if she had...


	5. Roof

**Chapter 5**

Olaf ran out onto the roof, dragging Justice Strauss and Klaus along.

"For all the trouble you've caused me, you'll be first to inhale the Medusoid Mycelium spores. Ha!" said Olaf.

He stopped when the saw the figurehead. The rubber octopus that had been holding the diving helmet on the carved wooded figure was bitten loose. The helmet was gone.

"AAARGH!" Olaf screamed in rage. "Where is it? What have you done with it?"

Sunny peeked out from behind the spatula where she had been hiding.

"Sea," she said, pointing toward the ocean side of the hotel.

"You've lost again," said Justice Strauss.

"No!" said Olaf. He looked wildly around, then over the side of the hotel. Then he looked back at the Baudelaires and the judge, a wicked gleam in his eye. He pointed the harpoon at them.

"Push that boat from the swimming pool over here to the edge," Olaf commanded. "That was going to be my escape, anyway. I'll go down there in the boat, find the helmet in the shallow water near the hotel, get in through a window, poison everyone, and then escape by sea. Ha!"

"Not the man with a beard and no hair and the woman with hair and no beard," said Klaus. "They have the antidote."

"I'll find a way to settle with them, too," hissed Olaf.

Klaus was actually thinking that Olaf's boat would never survive the fall due to the force of gravity, but he didn't want Olaf to realize that. He, the Justice, and Sunny used the tanning spatulas to push the boat out of the pool and down the sloped roof to the edge.

Olaf jumped into the boat. "One more thing," he said, grabbing Sunny by the collar of her concierge uniform. "You're coming with me, baby. For interfering with my Medusoid Mycelium, you'll be the first to get a whiff of it. Ha! And I'll make sure you don't get any horseradish, either. Ha! Owww!"

The last word was not a new variation of his succinct laugh, but a cry of pain when Sunny bit his hand. Olaf dropped Sunny to the rooftop, and Klaus gave the boat one last shove. It tipped over the edge. They heard Olaf cry out "Mommy!" and then there was a huge crash.

Sunny and Klaus looked over the edge. Carmelita's ballplaying cowboy superhero soldier pirate boat had smashed and was sinking beneath the waves. Count Olaf, unconscious or dead, was sinking with it.

"Nemesis," said Sunny.

Justice Strauss joined them at the roof edge. "Klaus, you knew that would happen, didn't you?"

"How could I, a mere child, expect to warn an intelligent adult about the dangers of gravity?" Klaus asked.

"I'm afraid it was murder," said Justice Strauss. "Come along, we must go to the authorities at once and explain things."

"The authorities may be infiltrated with enemies, like your fellow Justices," said Klaus.

"That's no excuse," said Justice Strauss.

Just then, the elevator opened and one of the managers rushed out. He was not wearing a blindfold.

"Frank, what are you doing bare-eyed?" asked the Justice. "The court is still in session; you'll be held in contempt."

"I'm not Frank, I'm Dewey," said Dewey. "Each was partly in the right, and all were in the wrong," he added, quoting from John Godfrey Saxe to confirm his identity to the children.

"I'm trying to convince these children they are in the wrong," Strauss said. "They pushed Olaf off the roof, and I say they should turn themselves over to the authorities."

"I don't think so," said Dewey, "Children. I believed you when you said the other justices were villains. I took a quick peek in the confusion and saw you were right. As soon as I could get out of the lobby I took off my blindfold and went looking for you. I had to help you; it was the least I could do after Violet sacrificed her life for me."

"Violet was worth ten of you," said Klaus coldly.

"I'm sorry. When Olaf pointed that harpoon at me I just froze. But I'll do anything to help you now," said Dewey.

"What about what I said?" asked Justice Strauss plaintively. "They need to go to the authorities."

"I've had enough of you and your authorities," said Dewey. "I trusted you and Jerome Squalor with vital V.F.D. plans. I thought you were helping us. I even got Kit to send you a copy of the telegram about the Baudelaires arriving at Briny Beach. And look what happened!"

"You sent Mr. Poe to intercept us at Briny Beach?" asked Klaus in surprise.

"I would never do that," said Strauss indignantly. "I can't stand that foolish banker. I told no-one except my fellow Justices... Oh."

"Leaker," said Sunny.

"Nevertheless, going to the authorities is the right thing to do," said Justice Strauss. "After I repented of my younger days as a horse-thief I resolved never to break the rules again."

"Sometimes you have to break the rules," said Dewey. With that, he grabbed Justice Strauss and pushed her into the swimming pool. He and the two Baudelaires ran for the elevator.

"Where now?" asked Sunny when they were inside the elevator.

"There's a secret passage in the basement to the underwater catalog," said Dewey. "We'll be safe there."

"Dewey, I can't forgive you yet, but thank you," said Klaus. "With the resources in your catalog we may still save the V.F.D."

"If worth saving," said Sunny gloomily.

As the children continued down in the elevator with Dewey Denouement, they wondered again if they were doing the right thing. They had tried to save a man from being harpooned and it had cost the life of their sister. They had just killed their enemy in revenge, but that didn't make them feel any better. What else might they have to do, and what might they become?

THE END


End file.
